Mishmash

 For the final edition on good parenting tips for parents who want to be THE BEST!  I am going to speak on Emotional Coaching, which was made famous by a renowned psychologist Dr Gottman. . Please watch and learn from Dr Gottman in this interview:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmsDTT3xgjo . It is very difficult to control our natural emotions. We are going to get angry. We are going to get frustrated. We are going to want to lash out. BUT we cannot and must not do this. We have nine months to try and prepare ourselves for this new little being, who will come in and add to our earthly experience. Use that time well. We have a lifetime to raise them in love and kindness. Make a conscious decision on how you are going to parent. If you are fortunate enough to be in a loving marriage, sit and discuss with your partner the ins and outs, the dos and don'ts. Be prepared for the shifting sands of a maturing person and know you need to adjust as they grow. If you are on your ow...

  How to spare the rod and NOT spoil the child. I want to share a story with you which was told by Astrid Lingren, the Swedish author of Piepie Longstocking. This was in the '70s when hitting a child was the norm in her home country, but she had been told by a pastor's wife, to never spank her child. Her son had reached four-years-old, and until this stage, she had never felt he had behaved so badly she needed to spank him.  But, on this occasion, he had pushed too far, and it was time. As was the practice in those days, you sent the child out to find a switch (a piece of a branch).  He was gone for a very long time, and she had begun to wonder where he was when he came into the room with tears rolling down his face and his arm outstretched with a rock in it, and he said to her, "Mama, I couldn't find a switch, but here is a rock you can throw at me." She understood from a child's point of view: "If my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference ...

 Can you learn to be a great parent? Many would argue NO, because the parent style you were reared with, will become your dominant style, no matter what you try and do to change it! BUT many of the experts will answer YES! If you want to do something and change the way you behave- You absolutely can do it! In America, they have a wonderful system called the NEPEM system. This is the National Extension Parent Educational Model. This has been developed to educate parents to become successful in raising well-developed, emotionally secure children. They have this to say about nurturing: "To Nurture children may be the most important contribution parents can offer their children. Nurturing by parents predicts that a child will develop into a competent and healthy adult. Nurturing can be challenging because a family’s emotional resources often are overextended. Children also have different needs and different preferences for nurturing behaviour. By learning to attend to their children’s...

Of course, culture and psychology are closely entwined. Your make-up, which consists of your upbringing (culture) will define the way you operate in life. This includes your IQ (intelligence quotient), EQ (emotional intelligence), PQ (physical intelligence) and your SQ (spiritual intelligence). There is a new one which has been added AQ=adversity intelligence. Let me summarise the indicators of a clear mind, a whole person, a well-rounded individual: IQ= it is your intelligence test score, as per a written exam. EQ= it is a measure of your interpersonal and communication skills. PQ= Ability to listen, identify and respond to one's internal messages about your physical self wrt weight, fitness and diet. SQ= The ability to behave with wisdom and compassion while maintaining inner and outer peace. Now I could waffle on for hours about psychology and what makes one tick, but for the essence of this blog, I am focussing on CULTURE and one's psychology and how it would apply...

"Manners maketh man"- has been said to have first come from the headmaster of the Eton School in England, William Horman (1440-1535). Correct, he wrote a book called "Vulgaria", which loosely translated means "everyday sayings and in it is a collection of common proverbs and among them is this famous one. But because this was a book on commonly used proverbs, it must have been in use for many years already. So it was probably used and should be correctly ascribed to William of Wykeham, the founder of the Winchester College (1304-1404). It means that politeness and good manners are essential to humanity. This proverb is seen as a way to remind us to be polite and kind.  We live in a global village now. Interactions with people from different cultures happen all the time, whether at home, at work or at church and most often online. How do we equip ourselves to navigate successfully through this possible quagmire? INFORMATION and there is so much informatio...

I know I want to be the best teacher I can be for each and every student who passes through my classroom, so I googled "What makes a great teacher?" and there is a myriad of sites to visit, which list things like: Warm Accessible Enthusiastic Stay late Start early Available for students and parents Involved with school committees Committed to the school Ability to develop relationships with their students Patient, caring and kind Knowledge of their learners- I found this tip on the third website I went into. It should be one of the first things a teacher must do. You cannot provide the best learning experience for your students if you are not able to tune into the things which motivate them or the things which will have them losing interest. You also need to understand their behaviour in the classroom and this is done by understanding their culture. Bro Ivers, of Brigham Young University, gave a great lecture on cultural differences in the classroom and he focu...

Now, for a real shift in thinking when learning or teaching a new language. We have a HUGE word we need to consider- ATTRIBUTES. The Google dictionary defines this as: (verb) regard something as being caused by. "He attributed the firm's success to the efforts of the managing director." (noun) a quality or feature regarded as a natural or inherent part of something or someone "flexibility and mobility is the key attributes of Britain's army." Brother Ivers, a lecturer at Brigham Young University, gave a fascinating lecture on attribution tendencies in culture. We all have attributional tendencies. What causes X to behave like Y? Japanese culture and American culture are on opposite ends of the scale. A Japanese person will attribute their personal success to external forces/people and events and their own failures (internal forces) on themself, while Americans are the exact opposite. He says it is no wonder the Japanese have such a high rate of suicid...

Personal Space- I could go on for hours and hours on this topic. As a South African, in our cultural melting pot we have many different "personal bubble spaces", and if you are going to venture out into the general population, where all these cultures are mixed, be prepared to have NO personal bubble space. The African culture is one of close proximity and you will find loud speaking, so others, not in this space can hear you are not talking about them. Hugs, kisses, holding hands, leaning in and over are all very common. This personal space has its roots in our values and the norms of our culture. Will this have much impact in my TESOL classroom? It does already. When I am with Grade 3 Xhosa learners, we lean in, not only because we want to hear and understand each other, but this closeness ensures a feeling of contentment, in the learner. I am not afraid to place my hand on his/her back and even take their hands to convey patience and love. As an actress, I used to spend...

What helps you learn? What makes sure you are comfortable in a classroom? What determines your level of success in a learning environment? Are you driven by individualistic thinking values or are you driven by collectivistic thinking values? Let me give you an example of collectivistic thinking - you are interdependent, you worry about the values of all, including yourself, your skills fit your role in the group or family, your knowledge has been learned from your mother/father/aunts/uncles/grandparents, cooperation is high on your agenda, ownership is a group affair. Or are you more part of the individualistic thinking - you are independent, you are driven by achieving your goals set by yourself, you continuously push yourself to learn more, be better and do better, knowledge is available to those who seek it, you believe in self-expression and value taking ownership of things. The Japanese citizens lean heavily towards the collectivist culture while Americans lean heavily in ...

So for this next week of TESOL, we continue with the cultural aspect of a persons make-up and we have been tasked with viewing this lecture from Bro Ivers of Brigham Young University: https://video.byui.edu/media/05+Differences+in+Emotional+Expressivity/0_753le546 I found this lecture focussed mainly on America, but Bro Ivers did occasionally touch on other cultures. Japan is a very closed culture and they have a low tolerance for emotional expressivity. On the other end of the scale are African Americans who are dynamic and expressive. Japanese culture has evolved over the years, but still remain one that does not affect public displays of affection (PDA's), whereas the Americans are not shy to hug, kiss and some couples may even display too much affection in public. I feel this is the case in many cultures, as the youth "move with the times" and PDA's should really be behind closed doors. In my homeland South Africa, we are a melting pot of many different Afric...

In our studies for TESOL 103 we were given the below video to watch and comment on: https://video.byui.edu/media/04%20Cultural%20Miscommunication%20/0_3aaa6xxh/28027982 This was done by a lecturer at BYU called Bro. Ivers and he gives amazing insight into the trap doors which are waiting for the culturally uneducated when you are living and working amongst many different cultures. What came to mind whilst watching that, is there are so many cultures in the world, it would make it very difficult to study all in-depth, so,  unless I was going to be immersed in a particular culture or two, I would not clog my brain up with unnecessary information. Living in South Africa, I have educated myself on the cultures I am surrounded by, consisting of the Afrikaners, the Xhosa, the Zulu and the Coloured cultures. Each one offers up similarities but also have their unique characteristics. I have come to love and adore each difference and similarity and at the end of the day, it is our comm...

We were tasked with viewing the following video done by Bro Ivers: https://video.byui.edu/media/04+Cultural+differences+in+Concerning+TIME/0_1cjop6lc So I elected for this option from our instructions regarding this viewing: d.  You may post critical questions that you have and attempt to seek answers from your classmates and instructor. I learned two terminologies: Polychronic and Monochronic, specifically relating to time and our cultural view on it. POLYCHRONIC: Time is not sacred, relationships are more important than time and these cultures are a lot more relaxed about following rigid timetables. MONOCHRONIC: Very time-sensitive. These cultures will never be late, rather early than late and procedures and all that apply to the correct way of doing things is King- no bypassing the system. First World countries, governed by big corporations, profit and a concept that "time is money". Living in South Africa I am part of a polychronic culture, where we e...

We have been tasked with viewing and reflecting on our cultural paradigms and how we may need to shift them as we prepare to teach. We were asked to view:   https://cdnapisec.kaltura.com/html5/html5lib/v2.80/mwEmbedFrame.php/p/1157612/uiconf_id/43228871/entry_id/0_9w0czg1f?wid=_1157612&iframeembed=true&playerId=kaltura_player_1539879321&entry_id=0_9w0czg1f and  https://www.ted.com/talks/delali_bright_cultural_clashes_in_defining_beauty and finally: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BT0kzF4A-WQ Living, growing up and working in South Africa has filled my life with an appreciation of cultural differences and the diversity which enriches our society. In my daily life, I will encounter at least four or five different cultures, just by venturing to the shop. South Africa has become a refuge for many who are fleeing their countries, due to war and oppression in upper Africa, and this results in a melting pot of languages and cultures down in the southern tip of Afric...

Good Morning, As part of a TESOL course I am doing with Brigham Young University Idaho, we have been asked to analyse and blog about an article written by John J Ivers called: "Is the Great American Teacher Dead? Principles to Resurrect Meaningful, Effective, and Consciousness Raising Instruction.  The full article can be viewed here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EEitbOSQLg27UTr0KcuyoN2yqi2BUIb-/view I do not reside in America, so I decided to change the question to "Are great teachers dead?"  and I changed it even further, "Are there still passionate teachers out there?"  Because this is, after all, what makes great teachers: PASSION They need to be passionate enough to turn their students onto learning.  They need to be passionate enough about their craft that they are forever learning, refining and evolving.  They need to be passionate enough to recognise each student as an individual learner and they need to be passionate enough to want...